The pandemic has changed our lives drastically . . . and that includes in the bedroom. Here areThe Top Tips for Spicing Up Your Love Life During the Pandemic.
Those cotton swabs can fit a lot of other places besides up your nose.
Ask your wife to unzip your fly to conduct a "stimulus check."
Craft a condom out of an N95 mask.
Try sanitizing EACH OTHER before you get started.
Tell your wife to close her eyes and think about Gavin Newsom.
Have a threesome . . . with the DoorDash delivery person.
Role-play as Dr. Fauci and Dr. Birx attempting a radical new experiment.
Give your lady a sexy nickname like, "Hydroxychloro-Queen."
Tap that ass like you do the Paycheck Protection Program.
Ask the CDC to designate your pants a "hot-spot."
Use toys. But not his"Star Wars"toys. Those have sharp edges and he's sentimentally attached to them.
Tell her to keep her heels on. Or her Crocs. These days it's probably Crocs.
Declare your crotch a "wet market" and make your partner inspect it.
Draw a sexy pout on the outside of your facemask.
Do it on your stomach so you can hold up your phone and look at pictures of people you actually WANT to have sex with.
Tell your boyfriend he's a COVID-19 and you're a COVID-50 and together you should make a COVID-69.
Check your lover's temperature. The old-fashioned way.
Have sex with someone you barely know: Your spouse.