What Did We Get Stuck Inside Ourselves for 2018?

Deadspin put together a list of items we got stuck inside ourselves from 2018. I know.. and odd 2018 review. 

All reports are taken from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits, all descriptions are verbatim, and none of those things belong in there.

As always, objects are sorted by orifice, working south:

Ear

  • NECKLACE
  • “PLACED CRAYON IN EAR ON A DARE”
  • “WAS BORED AT SCHOOL, PUT PART OF A PEN IN EAR”
  • DRAIN PLUG
  • MATCH


Nose

  • RUBBER BAND
  • BUTTERFLY
  • PAINT
  • PINK VITAMIN
  • COTTON BALL
  • TREE NUT


Throat

  • BANANA
  • PLASTIC TOY BANANA
  • “HAD WIFE’S EARRING IN HIS MOUTH AND ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWED IT”
  • CHRISTMAS TREE BRANCH
  • TOY HORN


Penis

  • PIPE CLEANER
  • STRAW
  • DOMINO
  • THIN ELECTRIFIED ROD
  • “PIECE OF HARD WHITE PLASTIC THAT HE BROKE OFF WHILE WORKING W/ CRAFTS”


Vagina

  • SMALL CHILD’S TOY
  • BATON
  • COLORED PENCIL
  • “INSERTED A CRAYON IN VAGINA, CAN’T REMEMBER IF IT CAME OUT”
  • MULTIPLE COTTON BALLS


Rectum

  • CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT BALL
  • BILLIARD BALL
  • NAIL FILE
  • SHOT GLASS
  • “CRACK COCAINE WITH SEX OBJECTS”
Mike Dellinger

Mike Dellinger

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